spongebob writing essay

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Procrastination/transcript

• Mrs. Puff: Okay, class, quiet, quiet! Now get out your pencil and paper and write down the assignment. [class groans]
• SpongeBob: [leans towards Nat] Did you hear that? We get an assignment!
• Mrs. Puff: Everyone must write an essay on what not to do at a stoplight. [class groans again]
• SpongeBob: [Again leaning towards Nat] Did you hear that?! What not to do at a stoplight!
• Mrs. Puff: In no less than 800 words. [squeals and class groans again]
• Nat: [imitating SpongeBob] Did you hear that?! 800 words!
• SpongeBob: Yeah, I know! [Nat frowns]
• Mrs. Puff: Due tomorrow. And remember class: work hard and no goofing off.
• [Bubble transition to back at SpongeBob's house]
• SpongeBob: Okay, Gary, no goofin' off! I am about to write the greatest essay of all time. Like most great essays, it will be written on paper. Even more important than the paper is [holds up a pencil] the pencil. A pencil as sharp or as dull as I like. Hmm... funny... as my ideas grow, you shrink. [kisses the pencil as little hearts fly out of it] Well, I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day to write an essay. [looks at window, it's colorful outside] Okay, here we go. What. Not. To do. At. A. Stoplight. Hey this is easy! By SpongeBob SquarePants. Hah! This essay is pure gold! And now pencil, get ready to do your stuff because here we go! [SpongeBob's clock is shown. Several hours pass and he has still only written ten words] Gee, this is harder than I thought... [SpongeBob looks outside where everyone is having fun]
• Patrick: [applies lotion on Sandy's shoulders] Come on, SpongeBob! [SpongeBob goes back to his desk]
• SpongeBob: It should be against the law to have to write an essay on such a super sailorific, sunshiny day! Oh! But I must press onward, because with this pencil, and the completion of this essay, I'll be one step closer to my driver's license! [a live-action drag race is shown. a car hits a wall, tumbles and gets back up] Oh, yeah. This'll be no problemo. Why, I've got plenty of time. It's only six o'clock. Okay, okay here we go, here we go. [struggles to write] I know, I just need to get blood pumpin' in the old noodle. How about some calisthenics?
• [SpongeBob does calisthenics. While doing it, he recites "Hup Hoo" several times, with his nose and eyelashes doing it too.]
• SpongeBob: I can feel those juices pumpin' now! [moves his chair closer to the table. he does it a lot because of the fun noise it makes. He then laughs] Huh? What am I doing?! I've gotta write that paper! [pushes his chair in] Come on, pencil, make words.
• Gary: Meow.
• SpongeBob: Gary! Hey, hey, hey, Gary! How's my favorite mollusk? How about you let ol' SpongeBob fix you up somethin' to eat?
• SpongeBob: What do you mean you're not hungry?
• SpongeBob: I know I have an essay to write! Now come on, Gary. [Grabs Gary by his shell and pours some food he takes up a ladder and fills it to ceiling-level] I've gotta make sure you have your nutrition, Gary, so I'm not leaving until you eat every single bite. [Gary quickly eats it] Gary, are-are you sure you don't want some crème brulée? Or, or some chocolate-flavored algae bits? [steps on Gary's food] Gee, Gary sure made a mess. I can't work on my essay knowing there's a mess in the kitchen. [cleans it up using himself as a mop] Hmm... I might as well clean the rest of the floor while I'm at it. I should get these hard-to-reach places too! And these dishes need to be cleaned! Can't have dirty garbage. [sprays the garbage can] Well, I think it's clean enough now! Why that didn't take too long... and it's only... Ten o'clock?! [horrific sting plays] Ooh... No more foolin’ around! I've gotta get back to work! Okay, Mr. Es-say, I say... prepare to be written! [the graphite tip of his pencil approaches the paper like a diving fighter plane, and finally makes contact with it] I'm doing it! I'm doing it! Yeah... yeah... yeah! And some of these, and some of these... Almost there and... [finishes writing. The pencil is steaming due to the excess force] done. Now lets see how it looks so far. "The-" [shows he has only written "the" in fancy lettering] Break time! Pacing always helps me think. Let's see, only seven hundred ninety-nine words to go... Think, SpongeBob, think! [looks at the telephone. Cut to Patrick in bed, snoring. The phone rings and he wakes up]
• Patrick: Who is that? [picks up phone] Hello?
• SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, whatcha up to?
• Patrick: Sleeping.
• SpongeBob: That's really fascinating, are you havin’ a good sleep? Any dreams you'd like to discuss? I remember on the...
• Patrick: SpongeBob, you and I both know that you're just using me as a distraction so you don't have to write your essay.
• SpongeBob: [gasps] That is-that is not true! I called to have an engaging conversation with you!
• Patrick: Well, I'm listening.
• SpongeBob: Uh... Marco!
• Patrick: Polo! [hangs up]
• SpongeBob: Yeah, well I gotta get going Patrick, got an important essay to write? [hangs up phone] Sheesh, what a chatterbox. Can't he see that I'm busy? [back to his desk with eraser shavings on his paper] I can't write with all these eraser shavings all over my paper! [swats the shavings away but they float above the paper] Now they're floating around my thinking space. [blows them away] So long, pesky particles! [the shavings float back to SpongeBob. As he struggles to remove the shavings, he swallows one in the process] I swallowed one! I'm choking! Water, water! [goes to the kitchen and drinks water] That was a close one.
• SpongeBob: What do you mean "overly dramatic," Gary? [rubs his tummy] All that choking sure made me hungry.
• SpongeBob: I can't write on an empty stomach, Gary. I gotta have my brain food! [opens the refrigerator] Now let's see... White or rye bread... or pumpernickel. Gee, I guess it really depends on the meat inside... and the cheese. [doorbell rings] A visitor? For me!? [SpongeBob opens the door to meet Norton the Mailfish] Hello!
• Norton: Package for Mr. SquarePants.
• SpongeBob: Great, thanks! So, uh, do you like delivering mail?
• Norton: It puts bread on the table.
• SpongeBob: Rye or pumpernickel? [laughs]
• Norton: Oh, brother..
• SpongeBob: So, do you deliver your own mail or do you have your own mail person? But then who delivers his mail? Is there a never-ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen? Well I guess a P.O. box could in theory break the chain...
• Norton: Don't you have a paper to write? [walks away]
• SpongeBob: [gulps and zooms in on his face] How did he know I'm supposed to be writing an essay? [blipping his eyes and slides back into his house]
• Realistic Fish Head: In other news, local resident SpongeBob SquarePants only has a few hours left to complete his essay, and yet he continues to goof off. [head sticks out TV] When will he learn?
• SpongeBob: Hi-yah! [karate chops the TV causing a zap and glass breaking. lights a candle]
• Chair: Hey, SpongeBob? Over here! Come on, take a seat. Put your feet up and relax.
• SpongeBob: [gasps and a bell rings and drops the candle that went out and the clock lights up] Oh no! Midnight! [runs through the hallway of clocks and the alarms ring on the walls] Must... get... back to desk! [runs to the table, but it has enlarged. he jumps up on the chair] Whew, that was a close call. [his pants are missing] Ah! My pants!
• Pants: Yoo hoo! Down here!
• SpongeBob: You get up here! I've got to get back to work!
• Pants: [runs out of SpongeBob's Pineapple to the door] Freedom!
• SpongeBob: [runs out the door] Stop Pants, you get back here this instant! Paaants... [door closes, SpongeBob yelps, then tries to get back in, but it is locked. He looks in the window. The candle is still lighting. The clock spins, breaks, and comes to life]
• Snail Clock: [ghostly voice] Time's up, SpongeBob...
• SpongeBob: [gasps and shrieks as the flame of the candle comes to life]
• Fire Wick: Only seven hundred ninety-nine words to go. [laughs sinisterly as he burns the essay]
• SpongeBob: No! [the fire wick burns his entire pineapple. He screams] What have I done?! [SpongeBob runs around his house, yelling] Help! Help! My house is on fire! [continues running around his burning house with black smoke until it comes to life]
• SpongeBob's House: SpongeBob, why? Why did you set me on fire, SpongeBob? Why didn't you just write your essay?! Stop wasting time!
• SpongeBob: [wakes up] Where's my essay? Oh, there you are! [laughs] I must have dozed off. [grabs his paper from his head] Lets see where are we? [holding his paper with a word "The" is still there, puts the paper down on the desk] Do I dare look at the clock... [slowly looks at the clock and gasps] It's almost nine o'clock! Class starts in five minutes. How am I gonna write this whole paper in five minutes? How am I supposed to know what not to do at a stoplight? Feeding your snail is something not to do at a stoplight! [Writing] And making a sandwich, and lighting candles, and drinking water, and calling your friends, and karate chopping the TV, and shootin' the breeze with the mailman, and fallin' asleep...
• [Bubble transition to SpongeBob running to the boating school.]
• SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! I'm finished! All eight hundred words! I'm finished! Here it is! [goes inside, but nobody is there] Mrs. Puff? Where is everybody?
• Mrs. Puff: Oh, there you are, SpongeBob.
• SpongeBob: Here you go, Mrs. Puff! Eight hundred words! All about stoplights and what not to do at 'em.
• Mrs. Puff: I'm sorry, SpongeBob. I tried to call you... I have to go to a teacher's convention.
• SpongeBob: But what about my essay!?
• Mrs. Puff: I decided to cancel the assignment. We're just going to take a field trip to a stoplight instead. See you next week!
• [SpongeBob rips his essay, then he rips himself in half as the episode ends.]
• 1 Season 15
• 2 Sandy's Country Christmas
• 3 Season 14

• Cast & crew
• User reviews

Procrastination/I'm with Stupid

• Episode aired Oct 19, 2001

Spongebob must write an essay for Boating School, but he keeps putting it off. Patrick's parents come to visit, and Patrick wants to make a good impression. Spongebob must write an essay for Boating School, but he keeps putting it off. Patrick's parents come to visit, and Patrick wants to make a good impression. Spongebob must write an essay for Boating School, but he keeps putting it off. Patrick's parents come to visit, and Patrick wants to make a good impression.

• Stephen Hillenburg
• Paul Tibbitt
• Bill Fagerbakke
• Rodger Bumpass
• 6 User reviews
• 1 Critic review

• Patrick Star

• Squidward Tentacles

• Mrs. Poppy Puff

• All cast & crew
• Production, box office & more at IMDbPro

Did you know

• Trivia On TV syndication versions of this episode, the colors are noticeably more bleak and gray. However, on the dvd release and even digital release of this episode, the colors are normal.
• Goofs SpongeBob clearly says "What Not to do at a Stoplight, by SpongeBob SquarePants", as he writes it on his paper. A later shot of SpongeBob's paper clearly says, "What not to do at a Spotlight, By: SpongeBob Sqaurepants". It says "Spotlight" instead of "Stoplight".

Patrick : Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are. Uhhh...

• Alternate versions The Spongebob Squarepants Christmas DVD contains Procratination as a Bonus Episode. This Episode on the Christmas DVD only shows a Deleted Scene where Spongebob looks outside after Saying: "this is harder than i thought" To see everyone having fun. Then saying that it should be against the law to write an essay, then Dreaming about getting his Drivers License (followed by a clip of an Indy car crashing) and Finally, him Doing Excersizes before getting back into the chair
• Connections Featured in Ted (2012)
• Soundtracks Dramatic Cue (e) (uncredited) Music by Ronald Hanmer

User reviews 6

Procrastination / i'm with stupid.

• iratecartoons
• Apr 12, 2021
• October 19, 2001 (United States)
• United States
• Morena Films
• United Plankton Pictures
• See more company credits at IMDbPro
• Runtime 23 minutes

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Episode Transcript: Procrastination

Episode Article: Procrastination

[ edit ] Characters

• Realistic Fish Head
• Squidward (seen in a deleted scene)
• Sandy (seen in a deleted scene)

[ edit ] Dialogue

(At Mrs. Puff's Boating School, the bell rings)

Mrs. Puff : OK, class, quiet, quiet. Now, get out your pencils and paper, and write down the assignment. (students groan)

SpongeBob : Did you hear that? We get an assignment! (Nat gives an annoyed look)

Mrs. Puff : Everyone must write an essay on what not to do at a stoplight. (students groan again)

SpongeBob : Did you hear that? What not to do at a Stoplight. (Nat glares at him)

Mrs. Puff : In no less than 800 words. (squeals. Students groan again)

Nat : (acting like SpongeBob): Did you hear that? 800 words!

SpongeBob : Yeah, I know! (Nat frowns in annoyance)

Mrs. Puff : Due tomorrow. And remember, class: work hard, and no goofing off. (back at SpongeBob's house)

SpongeBob : OK, Gary, no goofing off. I am about to write the greatest essay of all time. Like most great essays, it will be written on paper. (Shows two pieces) Even more important than the paper is... (shows a pencil) ...the pencil. A pencil is sharp or as dull as I like. (To the pencil) Hmm.. funny thing, as my ideas grow, you shrink. (kisses the pencil) Well, I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day to write an essay. (looks at window. It's colorful outside) OK, here we go. (begins writing) "What Not to Do at a Stoplight". Hey, this is easy! "By SpongeBob SquarePants". Ha, this essay is pure gold. And now, pencil, get ready to do your stuff, because here we go! (the clock is shown. Several hours pass and SpongeBob has not written anything else) Gee, this is harder than I thought. (in a deleted scene, he looks outside. There is a carnival. Squidward is suntanning. A kid is eating ice cream. Jellyfish are playing tennis. Gary is playing with a ball. Patrick is rubbing Sandy with sunscreen)

Patrick : Come on, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob : It should be against the law to have to write an essay on such a super sailorific, sunshiny day. (groans) But I must press onward. Because with this pencil, and the completion of this essay, I'll be one step closer to my driver's license! (a live-action drag race is shown. A car hits a wall, tumbles, and gets back up. Cut back to SpongeBob) Oh, yeah... This'll be no problemo. Why, I've got plenty of time. It's only six o'clock! Okay, okay, here we go. Here we go. (SpongeBob struggles to write) I know! I just need to get a little blood pumpin' in the old noodle. How about some calisthenics? (does calisthenics. While doing it, he recites "Hup hoo" several times) I can feel those juices pumpin' now. (moves his chair closer to the table. Does it a lot because of the fun noise it makes. Laughs) Huh? What am I doing? I gotta write that paper. (pushes his chair in) Come on, pencil, make words.

Gary : Meow.

SpongeBob : Gary! Hey, hey, hey, Gary! How's my favorite mollusk? How about you and ol' SpongeBob fix you up something to eat?

SpongeBob : What do you mean you're not hungry?

SpongeBob : I know I have an essay to write. Now, come on, Gary. (pours some food) I've got to make sure you get your nutrition, so I'm not leaving till you eat every single bite. (takes up a ladder and fills it to ceiling-level. Gary quickly eats it) Gary, are you sure you don't want some crème brûlée? Or some choco-flavored algae bits? (sees a pile of food on the floor) Gee, Gary sure made a mess. I can't work on my essay, knowing there's a mess in the kitchen. (cleans it up) Hmm. I might as well clean the rest of the floor while I'm at it. I should get these hard-to-reach places too! And these dishes need to be cleaned! Can't have dirty garbage. (some time later, SpongeBob is finished) Well, I think it's clean enough now. (the kitchen is now chrome) Why, that didn't take too long. It's only... (checks the clock) 10:00! Oh. No more fooling around. I gotta get back to work. Okay, Mr. Essay, I say: prepare to be written! I'm doing it! (begins writing frantically in a montage) I'm doing it!... Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!... And some of these, and some of these!... Almost there and... (drops pencil) done. (sighs in relief) Now, let's see how it looks so far. The... (he has only written the word "The", in a fancy manner) Break time! Pacing always helps me think. (paces around the room) Let's see, only 799 words to go. Think, SpongeBob, think. (looks at the telephone, then at the paper, then back at the phone. Cut to Patrick in bed. His phone rings and he wakes up)

Patrick : Who's that? (picks up phone) Hello?

SpongeBob : Hey, Patrick, what are you up to?

Patrick : Sleeping.

SpongeBob : That's really fascinating. Are you having a good sleep? Any dreams you'd like to discuss? I remember on this...

Patrick : SpongeBob, you and I both know that you're just using me as a distraction so you don't have to write your essay.

SpongeBob : (gasps) That is not true! I called to have an engaging conversation with you!

Patrick : Well, I'm listening.

SpongeBob : Uh...Marco!

Patrick : Polo. (hangs up)

SpongeBob : (listening to a dial tone) Yeah, well, I gotta get going, Patrick. Got an important essay to write. (hangs up phone) Sheesh, what a chatterbox. Can't he see that I'm busy? (notices eraser shavings on his paper) I can't write with all these eraser shavings all over my paper! (throws them away) Now they're floating around my thinking space. (blows them away) So long, pesky particles! (they come back, and he chokes on one) I swallowed one! I'm choking! Water! Water! (goes to the kitchen and drinks water, then gasps in relief) That was a close one.

SpongeBob : What do you mean overly dramatic, Gary? All that choking sure made me hungry.

SpongeBob : I can't write on an empty stomach, Gary. I gotta have my brain food. (looking through his refrigerator) Now, let's see. White or rye bread...or pumpernickel? Gee, I guess it really depends on the meat inside. And the cheese. (doorbell rings) A visitor? For me? (opens the door) Hello!

Mailman : Package for Mr. SquarePants.

SpongeBob : Great! Thanks! So, you like delivering mail?

Mailman : It puts bread on the table.

SpongeBob : Rye or pumpernickel? (laughs)

Mailman : Oh, brother.

SpongeBob : So, do you deliver your own mail? Or do you have your own mailperson? But then, who delivers his mail? Is there a never-ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen? Well, I guess a P.O. box could, in theory, break the chain.

Mailman : Don't you have a paper to write? (walks away)

SpongeBob : (gulps) How did he know I'm supposed to be writing an essay? (glances back and forth several times, then slides backward into his house, turns and tiptoes in front of the television)

Realistic Fish Head : (speaking on the TV) In other news, local resident SpongeBob SquarePants only has a few hours left to complete his essay. And yet he continues to goof off. (his head leans through the TV screen into SpongeBob's face) When will he learn?

SpongeBob : Hi-yah! (karate chops the TV causing a zap and the glass breaks. The room has a blackout and he lights a candle)

Easy Chair : (SpongeBob turns to it) Hey! SpongeBob, over here! Come on! Take a seat! Put your feet up and relax! (SpongeBob drops the candle on the floor and the fire on the candle goes out)

SpongeBob : (gasps, as the bell rings the clock lights up as he looks at the clock) Oh, no! Midnight! (Panting, he runs in a hallway where the wall is full of paintings of clocks in the style of "Persistence of Memory") Must... get... back to desk! (runs to the table, but it has enlarged. He jumps up) Whew, that was a close call. (notices his pants are missing and he screams) My pants!

Pants : Yoo hoo! Down here!

SpongeBob : You get up here! I gotta get back to work!

Pants : Freedom!

SpongeBob : (runs out the door following the pants) Stop, pants! You get back here this instant! Pants! (The door closes. SpongeBob tries to get back in, but it is locked. He looks in the window. The candle is still lit. The clock's face pops off, revealing a mouth)

Clock : (ghostly voice) Time's up, SpongeBob. (the candle melts into a flame, Flare. SpongeBob gasps)

SpongeBob : Burning!

Flare : (takes SpongeBob's essay paper) Only 799 words to go! (burns the paper and leaps off the table) Hehehehe!

SpongeBob : No! (the inside of his house burns. Screams) What have I done? Help! Help! My house is on fire! (continues running around his burnt house, babbling incoherently, until the house comes to life)

House : SpongeBob, why? Why did you set me on fire, SpongeBob?! Why didn't you just write your essay?! Stop wasting time!

SpongeBob : (wakes up from his nightmare and takes the pencil off his face) Where's my essay! Oh, there you are! I must've dozed off. Let's see, where are we? (the paper only reads "The") Do I dare look at the clock? (looks at the clock, then gasps) It's almost 9:00! Class starts in five minutes! How am I going to write this whole paper in five minutes? How am I supposed to know what not to do at a stoplight? (realizing) Feeding your snail is something not to do at a stoplight! And... (begins writing) ...making a sandwich. And lighting candles! And drinking water! And calling your friends! And karate chopping the TV! And shooting the breeze with the mailman. And falling asleep... (cut to SpongeBob, out of breath, running to the boating school) Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! I'm finished! All 800 words! I'm finished! Here it is! Mrs. Puff? (goes inside, but nobody is there) Where is everybody?

Mrs. Puff : Oh, there you are, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob : Here you go, Mrs. Puff! All 800 words! All about stoplights and what not to do at 'em.

Mrs. Puff : I'm sorry, SpongeBob. I tried to call you! I have to go to a teacher's convention.

SpongeBob : But what about my essay?

Mrs. Puff : Nah, I decided to cancel the assignment. We're just going to take a field trip to a stoplight instead. See you next week! (exits. SpongeBob rips his essay. He then rips himself)

• Episode Transcripts/Season 2

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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Recap/SpongebobSquarepantsS2E17ProcrastinationImWithStupid

SpongeBob SquarePants S2 E17: "Procrastination" / "I'm with Stupid" » Recap

Procrastination

Original air date: 10/19/2001

"Procrastination" contains examples of:

• All for Nothing : After SpongeBob spends the episode procrastinating and then jotting down a bunch of things just before class starts, he's told by Mrs. Puff that the assignment has been cancelled because she has to go to a conference. She will, instead, take the class on a field trip to a stoplight note  which is just as well, considering everything SpongeBob wrote down about what not to do at a stoplight had nothing to do with driving, thus he would've failed anyway .
• All Just a Dream : As the episode goes on, the events that happen slowly become more outlandish, starting with people who should have no knowledge of SpongeBob's essay calling him out, before growing into the news reporting on him , his chair talking to him, his pants running away , his clock coming to life and a sentient flame burning down his house which screams at him to stop wasting time. Within the last few minutes, it's revealed that SpongeBob had fallen asleep at his desk, and most of the prior evening's events didn't happen.
• Big "NO!" : By SpongeBob when the candle flame burns his essay, and then sets the house on fire shortly after.
• Bowdlerise : SpongeBob 's brief little workout, in which he stretches his arms, eyelashes and nose, were rather jarringly cut from syndication after too many people complained that his nose exercises looked phallic .
• Catapult Nightmare : SpongeBob when he wakes up from his procrastinating-induced nightmare near the end of the episode.
• Compressed Vice : Before this, SpongeBob has never, ever been shown to put off a task, given how big a Workaholic he is.
• Digital Destruction : When Nickelodeon started airing the edited version of "Procrastination", the colors became noticeably washed out and less saturated. This extended to its sister episode as well. The reason why this happened is unknown. The DVDs , Amazon Prime, Nicktoons and overseas airings have the episode's normal colors intact.
• Dumbass Has a Point : Patrick through Brutal Honesty calls out SpongeBob for trying to have a conversation with him when he has an essay to write (which he shouldn't even be aware of; makes sense because this is SpongeBob 's dream). Patrick: SpongeBob , you and I both know that you're just using me as a distraction, so you don't have to write your essay.
• Evil Living Flames : During SpongeBob's dream sequence, a candle flame comes to life, reads SpongeBob's unfinished essay disapprovingly, then decides to punish him by burning down his house.
• Foreshadowing : The scenes where Patrick and the mailman point out SpongeBob is not writing his essay, and the fish anchorman giving a news report about it (seemingly implying that literally everyone in the world knows about SpongeBob's assignment and procrastination), and all of the Makes Just as Much Sense in Context moments (even outlandish by SpongeBob standards) are hints that this is All Just a Dream .
• For the Evulz : The candle flame who simply burns down SpongeBob 's essay and then his pineapple house for his own amusement.
• Half the Man He Used to Be : At the end of the episode, SpongeBob rips his paper in half, then rips himself in half.
• Laborious Laziness : SpongeBob spends several hours spot-cleaning his kitchen just to avoid having to work on his essay.
• Literal-Minded : SpongeBob : So, do you like delivering mail? Mailman: It puts bread on the table. SpongeBob : Rye or pumpernickel? (laughs)
• Medium-Shift Gag : As SpongeBob muses about getting his driver's license, it cuts to a live-action motor car racing down a track, then immediately crashing.
• My God, What Have I Done? : "Help! Help! My house is on fire!"
• One-Word Title : "Procrastination", which is what SpongeBob spends the episode doing.
• Overly Long Gag : In the beginning when Mrs. Puff is bringing up the stoplight assignment, SpongeBob repeatedly annoys the student next to him with, "Did you hear that?! (Rest of spiel)!". In the end when Mrs. Puff says it's 800 words long, the student then tries to give SpongeBob a taste of his own medicine by imitating him complete with buckteeth, but SpongeBob only smiles and says, "Yeah, I know!".
• Repeating So the Audience Can Hear : SpongeBob does this during a conversation with Gary. SpongeBob : How 'bout you let old SpongeBob fix you up something to eat? Gary: Meow SpongeBob : What do you mean you're not hungry? Gary: Meow SpongeBob : I know I have an essay to write!
• Ridiculous Procrastinator : As the title implies. SpongeBob is initially very eager and motivated to writing the 800 word essay due the following day, unlike the rest of class, but when upon discovering that coming up with ideas isn't as easy as he thought it would be, he starts finding any possible way to avoid it, from feeding Gary an enormous amount of food and saying he's not leaving until he eats it all... which he does in about two seconds. SpongeBob then decides that he must clean up Gary's enormous mess he made (actually just one small drop of snail food) and the rest of the kitchen pristine before going back to work. He then decides to stop goofing up and we see a monologue of him appearing to be writing something very creative, but we see he actually just wrote the word "the" in a very fancy manner. Several other humorous distractions occur.
• Sapient House : The last part of SpongeBob's nightmare has the pineapple house became this after the candle set it on fire after burning the essay and proceeds to chew out SpongeBob for procrastinating on the assignment. SpongeBob's House : SpongeBob, why?! Why did you set me on fire, SpongeBob?! Why didn't you just write your essay?! STOP WASTING TIIIIIME!!
• "Shaggy Dog" Story : SpongeBob completes the essay, but Mrs. Puff ends up having to leave for a teacher's convention and she tells him she decided to cancel the assignment. note  Probably a good thing too, since the resulting report (filled with non-driving related things like "karate chopping the TV" and "shooting the breeze with the mailman") would almost definitely get him an F if it actually mattered. Not that SpongeBob can ever get a passing grade anyway .
• Snarky Inanimate Object : Like in "Ripped Pants", SpongeBob 's pants make a snarky comment and run off.
• The Television Talks Back : After receiving a package from the mailman, SpongeBob walks past his television, where the realistic fish news reporter not only discusses how he still hasn't finished his essay, but pokes his head out of the screen into SpongeBob's living room to emphasize his point.
• Averted within the English version. Where the term "Procrastination" is never used. Being only referred to as "Goofing off".
• Unimpressive Progress Reveal : After learning it's 10:00, SpongeBob turns back to the essay and we get a montage of his hard work...but once he looks it over, it is revealed he only wrote down a fancy "THE".
• Wham Line : Most of the events that occur after SpongeBob started struggling to write his essay seem normal enough, until the mailman stops his rambling conversation with this: Mailman: Don't you have a paper to write?
• What Happened to the Mouse? : We never find out what was in the package SpongeBob received from the mailman. But considering that was part of his dream, the package probably never existed in the first place.
• Worst News Judgment Ever : Johnny the newsfish apparently considers reporting on SpongeBob's procrastination and unfinished essay worthy of the evening timeslot. It's pretty reasonable considering this happens in SpongeBob's dream.

I'm with Stupid

"I'm with Stupid" contains examples of:

• Patrick's house rocking on its foundation at the beginning is clearly done with three-dimensional computer graphics.
• Though not as noticeable, Patrick's rock opening after Squidward rang his bell is also an example.
• Angrish : After Marty assumes that SpongeBob's "No!" outburst was him "singing", he becomes so angry that he starts sputtering, which Marty assumes to be "short-circuiting".
• Believing Their Own Lies : The entire plot is kicked off when SpongeBob and Patrick come up with a plan to make Patrick's parents believe that SpongeBob is a complete idiot so that Patrick will look smarter by comparison. Unfortunately, Patrick takes it too seriously and soon ends up believing that he truly is a genius and SpongeBob really is dumb.
• Bigger on the Inside : Until this episode, Patrick's rock was shown to be either just a rock on a flat surface or with a small single room containing an easy chair and a TV set (or sometimes a bed). This was the first episode to show it with multiple rooms and the furniture made of sand, something that would appear more often in future seasons.
• Big "NO!" : By SpongeBob when Marty thinks Patrick taught him math. He assumes this to be singing.
• Call-Back : This isn't the first time Patrick said "Who are you people?!"
• Captain Ersatz : Marty and Janet are noticeable parodies of Homer and Marge Simpson , respectively, in both design and voice. The only big diversion (aside from species and name) is that unlike Homer and Marge, Marty and Janet don't have a son, and the Marge expy is a lot dumber.
• Cassandra Truth : SpongeBob is unable to convince Patrick and his parents that he's not really stupid.
• Dumbass Has a Point : Hypocritical as he is, Patrick's statement on how dumb people are clueless about their stupidity is actually correct. He just described the Dunning-Kruger effect. Patrick: Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are.
• "Everybody Laughs" Ending : The episode ends with Patrick and his (real) parents laughing as his rock house closes down on them.
• Eye Pop : Done by Patrick when SpongeBob pushes his buttons.
• Five-Second Foreshadowing : Patrick's dad comments that he feels like he's meeting him for the first time... right before it's revealed that he's not actually Patrick's father; ergo, he actually is meeting him for the first time.
• Patrick's “parents” are initially impressed that their son immediately recognizes them (their first line is, "Wow, son! You actually recognized us this time!"), and Patrick doesn't bother to defend himself. As it turns out, they're not his parents. Patrick doesn't realize this because, as hinted at, he frequently forgets what his real parents look like.
• When getting ready to act stupid for Patrick, Gary questions SpongeBob and he replies, " What could go wrong? ". Well, something will go wrong indeed — Patrick begins to believe SpongeBob really is stupid.
• Patrick acts uninterested when he first sees Janet and Marty.
• Gainax Ending : Patrick discovered that the two people he's been entertaining aren't his parents, finds his real parents right outside and the three of them laugh while the fake parents simply shrug it off, remembering that they don't even have a son, and walk off. Rock closes. The end. We never even find out what happened to SpongeBob after he ran off screaming .
• Gone Horribly Right : SpongeBob fakes dumbness as part of his and Patrick's plan, but Patrick begins to believe he's actually dumb.
• Hypocritical Humor : Patrick: Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are... duuuuh...
• Ignorant of Their Own Ignorance : Patrick, of course. He starts treating SpongeBob like a moron because he's forgotten that he told SpongeBob to act like a moron.
• Impact Silhouette : SpongeBob leaves a himself-shaped hole in the wall when he makes a hasty retreat (somehow, as Patrick's home interior is under the ground).
• Ironic Echo : Patrick’s “parents” say “Wow son, you recognized us this time!” His real parents say the same thing to him.
• Jerkass Ball : Patrick starts to believe that SpongeBob really is dumb, forgetting that SpongeBob is only pretending. Patrick then starts making personal insults, and when SpongeBob tries to remind him that they're only pretending, he denies it.
• Karma Houdini : Patrick gets no punishment for essentially tormenting SpongeBob into insanity . The most Janet and Marty get is Patrick's interrupted Freak Out when he realizes they might not really be his parents and the fact that his real parents still think he's as dumb as ever.
• Kick the Dog : Is this how Patrick would treat SpongeBob if he really was stupid?
• SpongeBob pretends to only be able to talk in one to two word sentences , but drops the act for a moment to tell Patrick to meet him in the kitchen when Patrick starts to believe SpongeBob really is dumb and starts insulting him while he is in the room.
• Later, when SpongeBob completely drops the act to tell Patrick's parents that he was just pretending to be stupid to make Patrick look smart, they think Patrick taught him how to talk in complete sentences even though they already heard him say "Patrick, meet me in the kitchen" earlier . They are actually complete strangers and only thought they were Patrick's parents because he called them Mom and Dad.
• Noodle Incident : "Patrick! You forgot how to eat again! Come on, we'll get the funnel!" The only elaboration this receives is an offhanded comment from SpongeBob claiming that he liked using the funnel.
• Obfuscating Stupidity : SpongeBob pretends to be stupid to make Patrick look smarter in front of his parents. Unfortunately, Patrick starts to believe that he is stupid.
• Oblivious to His Own Description : Patrick's infamous line about how dumb people are ignorant of their own dumbness, told to SpongeBob because Patrick has stupidly forgotten that it was all an act.
• Only the Leads Get a Downer Ending : After being completely unsuccessful in reasoning with Patrick and his "parents", SpongeBob simply storms off and is gone for the remainder of the episode , without having any real resolution with Patrick.
• Parental Hypocrisy : Patrick's parents turn out to be this when we see that even though they called out Patrick for being dumb, they themselves couldn't locate/remember where Patrick's house is and asked Squidward where he was.
• When SpongeBob makes an Impact Silhouette through Patrick's walls to run away, you can clearly see the blue sky outside even though it should be underground because Patrick's rock lid lies on the ground.
• Despite not being Patrick's real parents, Janet and Marty know several specific facts about him, including his name.
• Poor Communication Kills : A lot of confusion could've been avoided if Marty and Janet told Patrick their names in the first place.
• Rage Breaking Point : Marty and Janet still thinking SpongeBob actually is dumb even when he tried to convince them he isn't is enough to push his insanity over the limit, leading him to escape.
• Repeating So the Audience Can Hear : When SpongeBob gets ready to put on his dummy charade for Patrick's family. SpongeBob : (puts on his Karate helmet) Protective helmet, check. Gary: Meow. SpongeBob : I'm supposed to look stupid, Gary. Gary: Meow? SpongeBob : What could go wrong?
• The Scream : SpongeBob lets out a long and frustrated one when he is unable to convince Patrick's parents' he's not really dumb, before running out.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here! : After various failed attempts at getting Patrick's parents to believe he's not actually dumb, SpongeBob screams and runs out of the house in frustration. What he doesn't know is that the starfish couple he met are not Patrick's real parents.
• "Shaggy Dog" Story : Patrick manages to impress his parents — at the cost of poor SpongeBob's sanity . Then, Squidward brings over Patrick's real parents , who'd been standing outside his house all day asking him where their son was. And SpongeBob never learns that he wasted his time impressing random strangers.
• Shared Family Quirks : Patrick's real parents both wear outfits with the same colors and floral pattern of Patrick's shorts.
• Small Role, Big Impact : Gary is only present for one scene as SpongeBob is getting ready to act stupid for Patrick, but that particular moment — when he asks SpongeBob if it's okay and SpongeBob wonders what could go wrong — plays a huge part, as it serves as a foreshadowing of Patrick treating him like he's a real idiot.
• Spotting the Thread : When Marty and Janet refer to each other by name, Patrick immediately realizes they are not his parents (his actual parents' names are Herb and Margie).
• Title Drop : Downplayed. Patrick briefly wears an "I'm With Stupid" T-shirt that actually says "I'm with the dummy".
• Visual Pun : A classic example. SpongeBob : (in response to a piece of paper Patrick is holding) Hey, a note! (takes it to reveal that there's a music note on it) Patrick: Yeah, but turn it over! There's a letter! SpongeBob : (turns the "note" around to reveal the letter B on the back) You're right!
• Wham Line : When SpongeBob has had enough of Patrick's parents treating him like an idiot and runs out of the house in anger, it looks like a happy ending for Patrick, when suddenly... Marty: I feel like I'm really meeting you for the first time. Isn't that right, Janet ? Janet: You bet, Marty ! Patrick: (eyes widen in shock) Janet? Marty?! Who are you people?!
• SpongeBob is somehow never seen or mentioned again after he runs off screaming.
• How Janet and Marty seem to know several facts about Patrick, let alone his own name is never explained.

Video Example(s):

SpongeBob finally finishes his 800-word essay on "What not to do at a stoplight" just before class begins, but he finds the school empty. Mrs. Puff then comes in and reveals she tried to call SpongeBob before that she has to attend a teacher's convention and the assignment has been cancelled last-minute, deciding to take a field trip to a stoplight instead. Thus SpongeBob's procrastinating and last minute writing were all for nothing.

Example of: "Shaggy Dog" Story

I'm With Stupid

A note and a le...

SpongeBob Squar...

• SpongeBob SquarePants S 2 E 16 "Graveyard Shift" / "Krusty Love"
• Recap/SpongeBob SquarePants
• SpongeBob SquarePants S 2 E 18 "Sailor Mouth" / "Artist Unknown"

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Procrastination

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" Procrastination " is a SpongeBob SquarePants episode from Season 2. In this episode, SpongeBob procrastinates on writing an 800 word essay for Boating School.

Plot [ edit | edit source ]

The episode starts at Mrs. Puff's Boating School, SpongeBob's class receives an assignment for an 800-word essay on what not to do at a stoplight, due the following morning. SpongeBob cannot wait to get started and, upon arriving home, prepares his materials and workspace. However, he has trouble thinking of what to write, and gets distracted by his friends playing outside.

Time passes as SpongeBob tries to create the right mood for writing. He does some calisthenics, feeds Gary, cleans his kitchen, and takes copious breaks in between. It eventually becomes clear that SpongeBob is only looking for excuses to avoid the essay. Even Patrick points it out when SpongeBob calls to chat with him in the middle of the night.

While spending more time making a sandwich, SpongeBob hears a knock at the door and rushes to greet the mailman delivering a package. When SpongeBob attempts to engage in small talk, the mailman cuts him off and tells him to get back to writing. Suspicious, SpongeBob slowly heads back inside to find the newscaster on TV reporting on SpongeBob's unfinished essay. He soon discovers that all of his possessions are conspiring against him to prevent the completion of his work. Their interference results in the immolation of his house, which begs SpongeBob as it burns to "stop wasting time."

Finally waking up from his nightmare, SpongeBob looks first at his woefully incomplete essay, then at the clock, marking five minutes before class time. In desperation, he suddenly realizes that everything he did up to that point was something that should not be done at a stoplight, and so he quickly writes it all down to fulfill the 800-word requirement.

Excitedly bringing the finished essay to school, SpongeBob finds the classroom empty. Mrs. Puff arrives and explains that she tried to call SpongeBob to give him an update. Due to a teacher's convention she must attend, Mrs. Puff has canceled the assignment and will instead take the class on a field trip the following week to see a stoplight. Left behind with his grin frozen in place (when he realized that he only tried hard on focusing on his now-finished assignment for nothing), SpongeBob then rips his essay in half before he splits himself in half. Then the episode ends there.

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Procrastination

(Open at Mrs. Puff's Boating School.) Mrs. Puff: Ok, class, quiet…quiet! Now, get out your pencils and paper and write down the assignment. (Students grumble under their breath.) SpongeBob: (to student next to him) Did you hear that? We get an assignment! Mrs. Puff: Everyone must write an essay on what not to do at a stoplight. (Students grumble again.) SpongeBob: Did you hear that? What not to do at a stoplight! Mrs. Puff: In no less than 800 words. (Students grumble and sigh loudly.) Student: (to SpongeBob, with severe sarcasm) D'ya hear that?! 800 words! SpongeBob: Yeah, I know! Mrs. Puff: Due tomorrow. And remember class, work hard, and no goofing off. (Cut to SpongeBob's house.) SpongeBob: Ok, Gary, no goofin' off! I am about to write the greatest essay of all time. Like most great essays, it will be written on paper. (gets out two pieces of paper) Even more important than the paper is…the pencil. (gets out pencil) A pencil is sharp or as dull as I like. (talking to the pencil) Hm, funny…as my ideas grow, you shrink. (kisses pencil, then looks out window) I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day to write an essay. (The scenery outside is a picturesque surface landscape.) Ok, here we go. (writing) What…not…to do…at…a…stoplight. Hey! This is easy! By SpongeBob SquarePants. Ha! This essay is pure gold. And now, pencil, get ready to do your stuff, because heeere we go. (He puts the pencil to the paper and the camera pans to the clock on the wall. I says 2: 55, then fast-forwards to 4:40 and again to 5:55. Cut back to SpongeBob, pencil still in the same spot. Nothing more has been written.) SpongeBob: Gee, this is harder than I thought. (He puts the pencil down and goes to window, seeing a carnival outside and everyone having fun, including Sandy and Patrick.) Patrick: Come on, SpongeBob! SpongeBob: (returning to his desk) It should be against the law to have to write an essay on such a super, sailor-ific, sun-shiny day. Oh…but I must press onward, because with this pencil, and the completion of this essay, I'll be one step closer to my driver's license. (We see a live-action drag race car speed off, and then crash.) Oh, yeah. This'll be no prob-lemo. Why, I got plenty of time. It's only six o'clock. Ok. Ok, here we go. Here we go. (He puts the pencil to the paper, then his face falls on the desk) I know! I just need to get a little blood pumpin' in the ol' noodle. How about some calisthenics! (SpongeBob starts exercising by moving arms up and down and then his nose and eyelashes.) Hup-hoo! Hup-hoo! Hup-hoo! Hup-hoo! (repeats the "hup-hoos" four times each for the nose, in a nasally voice, and the eyelashes, in a high-squeaky voice) I can feel those juices pumpin' now! (SpongeBob returns to his chair and scoots it toward the desk, making noises with the chair legs on the floor.) Dahahahahaha!!! (gasps) What am I doin'?! I gotta write that paper! Come on pencil, make words. (Gary comes into view) Gary: Meow. SpongeBob: Gary! Hey, hey, hey, Gary! How's my favorite mollusk? How ‘bout you let ol' SpongeBob fix you up somethin' to eat? Gary: Meow. SpongeBob: Whadya mean you're not hungry? Gary: Meow. SpongeBob: I know I have an essay to write. Now come on, Gary. (takes him to kitchen) I've gotta make sure you get your nutrition, so I'm not leaving until you eat every single bite. (Gary's bowl is filled to the ceiling, which Gary eats all in one bite.) Gary, a-are you sure you don't want some crème brulee? Or-or some choco-flavored algae bits? (steps in some food residue) Gee, Gary sure made a mess. I can't work on my essay knowing there's a mess in the kitchen. (cleans the residue) Hmm. I might as well clean the rest of the floor while I'm at it. I should get these hard to reach places, too. (gets in between stove and fridge) And these dishes need to be cleaned. Can't have dirty garbage. Well, I think it's clean enough now! (whole kitchen sparkles in chrome) (SpongeBob leaves the kitchen and goes back to where his desk is.) SpongeBob: Why, that didn't take too long. It's only… (checks clock) TEN O'CLOCK!!! Oh, no more foolin' around! I've gotta get back to work. Ok, mister es-say, I say…prepare to be written! I'm doing it! (brings pencil to paper, we see his back and the pencil moving frantically) I'm doing it! Yeah…yeah, yeah!! Some of these, an' some of these. Almost there, aaand… (rolls pencil onto the desk, it's point smoking) done. Now let's see how it looks so far. (reading) "The". (the word ‘The' is the only one on the page, but it's written in an overly-fancy fashion) Break time! Pacing always helps me think. (paces in his living room) Let's see, only 799 words to go. Think, SpongeBob, think. (SpongeBob spies the telephone, thinks about it, looks over at his desk, looks back at the phone, then we see Patrick sleeping under his rock. The phone rings and startles Patrick awake.) Patrick: Huh! What was that…huh. Hello? SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Whatcha up to? Patrick: Sleeping. SpongeBob: That's really fascinating. Are you having a good sleep? Any dreams you'd like to discuss? I remember on this… (Patrick cuts him off) Patrick: SpongeBob, you and I both know that you're just using me as a distraction so you don't have to write your essay. SpongeBob: (gasps) Th-that is not true. I called to have an engaging conversation with you. Patrick: Well, I'm listening. SpongeBob: Uhhh…Marco! Patrick: Polo. (hangs up) SpongeBob: Yeah, well I gotta get goin', Patrick. Got an important essay to write. (hangs up) Sheesh, what a chatterbox. Can't he see that I'm busy? (goes back to desk, sees eraser shavings on paper) I can't write with all these eraser shavings all over my paper! (brushes them to side with hand, but they float around in front of him) Now they're floating around my thinking space. (blows them away) So long, pesky particles. (they float back into his faces, he gags on one) Aaahh… I swallowed one! I'm choking! Water, water. (goes into kitchen, gulps down glass of water) That was a close one. Gary: Meow. SpongeBob: Whaddya mean, overly dramatic, Gary? All that choking sure made me hungry. Gary: Meow. SpongeBob: I can't write on an empty stomach, Gary. (Gary starts to leave) I gotta have my brain food. (looking in fridge) Now, let's see…white or rye bread? Or pumpernickel. Gee, I guess it really depends on the meat inside. And the cheese. (doorbell rings) A visitor?! For me? (SpongeBob opens his front door, a mailfish is standing outside.) Hello! Mailfish: Package for Mr. SquarePants. SpongeBob: Great, thanks! So, uh, you like delivering mail? Mailfish: It puts bread on the table. SpongeBob: Rye or pumpernickel? Dahahahaha!!! Mailfish: Oh, brother. SpongeBob: So, do you deliver your own mail or do you have your own mailperson? But then, who delivers his mail? Is there a never-ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen? Well, I guess a P.O. box could, in theory, break the chain. Mailfish: Don't you have a paper to write? (walks away) SpongeBob: (gulps and sweats nervously) How did he know I'm supposed to be writing an essay? (glances back and forth several times, then slides backward into his house, turns and tiptoes in front of the tv) Realistic Fish-head Announcer: In other news…local resident, SpongeBob SquarePants only has a few hours left to complete his essay. And yet, he continues to goof off. (announcer comes out of tv at SpongeBob) When will he learn? (SpongeBob freaks out and karate chops his tv into pieces, making the room dark. Next, we see him holding a candle. Suddenly, a voice begins to speak. He turns to see his easy chair talking to him.) Easy Chair: Hey, SpongeBob, over here. Come on, take a seat. Put your feet up, relax. (Suddenly clock chimes go off, SpongeBob gasps and drops his candle.) SpongeBob: Oh, no! Midnight! (He starts running for the desk, but it keeps getting farther and farther away from him. We see him running down a hallway with images of clocks all over the walls.) Must…get…back to…desk! (When he gets to the desk, he finds himself tiny and the desk and chair giant-sized. He hops onto the chair, his pants remaining on the ground.) Whew! That was a close call. Aaaahhh!!! My pants! Pants: You-hoo! Down here. SpongeBob: You get up here! I gotta get back to work! Pants: Freedom! (runs for the door) SpongeBob: Stop, pants! You get back here, this instant! (runs outside, door slams shut behind him) Paaannts! Huh!? (He tries to get in the door, but its' locked, so he goes around to a window and peeks inside. He sees the clock.) Clock: Tiiime's up, SpongeBooooob. (SpongeBob gasps, then glances down at the desk where the candle is. It suddenly becomes a flame figure, which then picks up the essay paper.) Flame: Only 799 words to go! (paper ignites and becomes ashes, the flame laughs, evilly) SpongeBob: No! Aaaahh!!! (The flame jumps off the desk and the whole room goes up in flames. SpongeBob moves away from the window.) What have I done? Help. Help!! My house is on fire! (babbles incoherently as he runs around the outside of his house several times) Pineapple House: SpongeBob…why? Why did you set me on fire, SpongeBob? Why didn't you just write your essay?! STOP WASTING TIME!!! (Cut to inside of SpongeBob's house where he is just waking up, slouched over his desk. He sits up, the paper and pencil stuck to his face.) SpongeBob: Where's my essay? Oh! There you are. Dahahahaha!! I must've dozed off. Let's see, where are we. (sees the single word on his paper) Do I dare look at the clock? (looks at clock, then gasps) It's almost nine o'clock! Class starts in five minutes! How am I going to write this whole paper in five minutes? How am I supposed to know what not to do at a stoplight? (duck noise) Feeding your snail is something not to do at a stoplight! And (starts writing) making a sandwich…and lighting candles…and drinking water…and calling your friends…and karate chopping the tv…and shootin' the breeze with the mailman…and fallin' asleep… (Cut to Mrs. Puff's Boating School. SpongeBob is running up to the classroom, out of breath.) SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! I'm finished! All 800 words. I'm finished, here it is…hey. (enters classroom, notices nobody there) Mrs. Puff? W-where is everybody? Mrs. Puff: (walking through the door) Oh! There you are, SpongeBob. SpongeBob: Here ya go, Mrs. Puff! 800 words, all about stoplights and what not to do at ‘em. Mrs. Puff: I'm sorry, SpongeBob. I tried to call you. I have to go to a teacher's convention. SpongeBob: But what about my essay?! Mrs. Puff: I decided to cancel the assignment. We're just going to take a field trip to a stoplight instead. See ya next week. (walks out) (SpongeBob holds up the essay, tears it in half, then we see him split in half and fall to the floor.) End